Strategies for Self-Regulation

Since ringing in the new year, my blog posts have focused on the Polyvagal Theory. If you’ve read my previous posts, I hope that you’ve deepened your understanding of your nervous system and yourself. Pause here and go read those posts before reading this one because today’s post is all about application (and it’s important to have an understanding of this theory before trying to apply it).

So you recognize that you’ve become dysregulated. Now what? How do you get back into Ventral? I want to offer you some simple strategies for nervous system regulation. This list is in no way exhaustive but rather a good place to start.

Before I dive into some of these strategies, I want to talk briefly about why self-regulation is an important skill. Being able to access your Ventral Vagal system…

  • Helps you be IN your body (as opposed to dissociated from it) and more involved and present in your life

  • Leads you to experiences of connection with others

  • Deepens your experience of internal safety and self-trust

  • Strengthens your immune system

  • Decreases anxiety and depression

  • Increases mindfulness— the ability to be focused on the present moment

  • Strengthens what is called “interoception”— your ability to sense what’s going on inside your body, including physical sensations and emotions

 

Engaging the Ventral Vagal system

So how do we stimulate the Ventral Vagal system? What “cues” does the body need in order to shift into this state? Deb Dana, Polyvagal master and teacher, calls these cues “glimmers.” If a trigger is what shifts us down our ladders into a mobilized or collapsed state, a “glimmer” is what propels us back up the ladder into a state of connection and safety. Glimmers are activities that we can count on to activate our parasympathetic nervous system and bring us into a Ventral state.

Some glimmers may include: Smiling (receiving one or giving one), socializing with friends, feeling the sun on your body, music, preparing and eating a yummy meal, being in nature, playing, dancing, traveling, reading a book, yoga, walking, making art, and meditating.

*If you’re thinking— “ohhhh, those are all of the things that I love to do/take for granted/don’t make time to do due on account of being ‘too busy’”— you’re not alone in that. Our culture’s hustle and grind culture is part of the reason that our nervous systems are so out of balance. It truly is life’s simple pleasures that are often the things that we need the most to come back into regulation and balance.

Glimmers often involve mindfulness. This is likely a word you’ve heard before. Before I really understood the word mindfulness, I really thought it was the same thing as “meditation” or just being zenfully calm. Mindfulness is NOT the same thing as meditation, and mindfulness isn’t synonymous with inner-peace.

Mindfulness is about present focus. It’s about being in the present moment.

  • Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without judgment and with acceptance

  • Mindfulness is an important part of staying in or moving into the Ventral Vagal state

From Sympathetic to Ventral

Some of the tools (or “glimmers”) we need the most are tools or strategies to help us move from Sympathetic (fight/flight) to Ventral (safety/connection). Another way of saying that is a movement from stressed out to self-regulated.

  • Push against something heavy (like a wall)

  • 5-4-3-2-1 exercise: name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 sounds you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This is a mindfulness skill that can help you refocus on the present moment

  • Deep breathing: Longer exhales (i.e.: breathe 3 counts in/6 counts out)

  • Meditation: Insight Timer & Headspace are two apps that I love for this

  • Restorative yoga

  • Listen to soothing music

  • Journal thoughts and feelings

  • Visualize a safe, peaceful place (beach, mountains, river, etc).

  • Make a gratitude list

  • Splash cold water on your face or take a cold shower

  • Butterfly hug: Wrap your arms around your body at the level of the shoulders. Pat one shoulder and then the other (alternating) until you feel calm. You can also repeat some mantras or affirmations while you do this like, “I feel safe, I am safe, I have my back, I am supported, I am strong.”)

  • Get out in nature

  • Play or do something fun

  • Share your feelings with a friend

From Dorsal to Sympathetic to Ventral

So, what about when we’re at the bottom of the ladder (*if you don’t know what I mean by ladder, go back and read my blog post called The Polyvagal Ladder), in that Dorsal Vagal shutdown or collapse? In order to climb back up the ladder and into a state of regulation, you need to energize your body! In short, a dissociated and immobilized body needs to be energized in order to achieve self-regulation. Some of these tools include:

  • Listen to high-beat music and dancing like no one is watching (*this is my personal favorite)!

  • Do some jumping jacks or a HITT sequence (i.e.: high knees, burpees, squat jumps)

  • Deep breathing: Shorter exhales (i.e.: breathe 6 counts in/3 counts out)

  • Hold a plank for a minute

  • Yoga (i.e.: Vinyasa flow or a simple sun salutation sequence)

  • Create HEAT in the body (i.e.: a warm shower or a heating pad)

  • Watch something silly

  • Scream into a pillow

  • Sing, hum, chant, or gargle water

  • Talk it out with a friend, family member, or therapist. Externalize and name your feelings.

*Remember, we have to move through sympathetic energy before we can reach Ventral. 

 

I mentioned this briefly already but believe it’s worth mentioning again. You might be thinking, “These are all things that I know make me feel good, but I never have time to do them!” Well, yes, and that’s part of the problem. And hear me say this— I’m guilty too! There are moments in my life when I know I’m in my Sympathetic state, and I know pausing and taking some deep breaths will do me some good, but I don’t do it! This is in part because I’m stubborn, but also in part because of my conditioning. I’ve spent much of my life living in a Sympathetic-dominant state. But I know I’m growing because I notice it now, and I notice it quickly. Even a year ago, I didn’t have this awareness. And more frequently than not, I am beginning to pause. And I’m doing something about it.

I hope you will start to use these tools more regularly. I hope you will take the time to do more of what makes your nervous system feel more regulated and grounded.

I’m totally convinced that what the world needs are more people with regulated nervous systems. I’m totally serious, too. So, let’s get to work.

Rachel

 

Rachel Sellers